Fear of Flying – where does it come from?
I spent time recently with one of my oldest (as in longstanding!) friends catching up after not seeing each other for a few years.
As we reminisced about some of the holidays we’d had I was amazed to discover that we shared a first – our first flight had been together – we’d been on a long haul flight to Chicago. First time on a plane; first time overseas, etc etc. She recounted the problems there had been with the flight, a flight that had happened 27 years ago and about which I could remember almost nothing. Apparently it had been so bad that another friend on the same flight (an ex-BA air stewardess) had said “please don’t think of that as a normal flight, it wasn’t”.
Now what I’ve not mentioned is that my friend is terrified of flying – really really scared – since that first flight, if she’s managed to get on a plane in the past its been with the help of drink and drugs and these days she has family unvisited in South Africa and her holidays are taken in the UK with a recent venture onto cruises – so long as you can drive to join the boat!
But wait a minute; we both experienced the same first bad flight, what happened to create a life affecting fear for her and an experience I can hardly remember for me?
I guess there can be lots of reasons that one person might be more susceptible than another, perhaps you’re someone who already has a tendency to worry about what might go wrong or perhaps you’re generally nervous about new experiences. Or you genuinely have an awful experience, but something convinces you that this is the way it will always be.
A phobia only takes one experience to become lodged in the brain, after that the brain takes over and repeats the awfulness of the experience for you. We all know that repetition is important when you want to get good at something – practise makes perfect – unfortunately that’s as true for the bad things in our lives as it is for the good stuff.
With a fear or phobia the practising is going on in our heads, our minds are doing the work for us by reliving and re-experiencing every detail of the incident. One of the best examples of this I ever came across was one of the first people I helped with their fear of flying – she hadn’t just practised, she had all the awards and medals it was possible to get in fear of flying! She’s much better now!
What have you experienced that has created a fear or phobia for you?
December 21st, 2010 at 11:26 am
Fantastic post. An experience is usually the spark that causes the phobia, but it may be perpetuated by underlying logic that was there before. Often a great technique is to imagine the object of your phobia as something funny – this changes the pattern of reaction in your brain.
Hypnotherapy Hertfordshire – Hypnotherapy Treatment
June 9th, 2011 at 11:18 pm
I do not consider that I have a fear of flying.
I have never flown and hope that I never will. I suppose if it were absolutely necessary I would just have to rationalise.
I just do not fly, in the same way that I do not breathe water. It seems unnatural. The reason is that on land or at sea, while there are dangers the very fact of your being in that place or medium does not mean that you are dead with no hope of influencing the outcome if the means of your being there ceases to be.
It is the same as a fear of heights that occurs only when said height does not have an immediate way out, as on a bridge. Likewise a fear of crowds or small places, where the actual fear of not being able to distance yourself.
This is not a phobia but a fully thought out attitude. I do not consider this an abnormality.
I hope this may be of some use.
June 9th, 2011 at 11:53 pm
I didn’t put that very well, but I found I couldn’t alter the comment !
I should have said that I do not consider this a phobia, but a valid attitude that happens to be out of synch with modern life.
I thought this was a forum rather than a website offering a service, and the first comment was intended as a response hoping that it may help as an example of different attitudes to this and similar problems. I have found the most useful aid to dealing with the prospect of flying is increasing my technical knowledge. Then if flying is necessary (as it may be) the experience may be made more acceptable. Then it will just be a matter of putting up with it with the motivation of necessity overcoming the natural reticence.
There must be many people in this position who do not consider their misgivings as irrational. Can mind techniques help here?
August 11th, 2011 at 4:23 am
I love you Peter Ford. Yes something who thinks just like me. I do not consider my fear of flying a phobia but a valid attitude that happens to be out of synch with modern life.
I flew once, no make that twice. Once when I was three my family moved to France. Then when I was six we moved back to the States. I have absolutely no memory of it whatsoever. Even so you will not get me on an airplane. It was bad enough before 911 and now it’s certainly worse if thats actually possible.
August 11th, 2011 at 4:24 am
Oh darn I meant to say someone not something. How embarrassing. Maybe I shouldn’t type in public!